Walking down the street, I took the steep dirt exit weaving through the pinecones, as I made my way down toward my back yard. I heard the annoying “ beep beep beep! ” of some machine backing up down by the highway, and the “chic chic chic!” of the grasshopper as I stepped to near. I stooped and flicked an ant from my shoe. I hear my brother’s music to entertain himself as he sweeps the porch.
Suddenly, I see a squirrel dart over a rock with something suspicious in his mouth. I chased after him to see what the mysterious object was. The squirrel ran up a tree and as he did so, chirp-squeaked and dropped from his mouth a half-mutilated pinecone.
I kept walking, trying to only step on rocks. I spat at a thorn bush and almost fell off my rock. I weaved through the rest of the thorn bushes, not daring to spit at another one. I entered the realm of a shadow and shivered.
Hi Jacob! Welcome back! I'm glad to be the first to comment on your post! I could just see you weaving and stooping and chasing and strategizing rocks over dirt. I loved all the WAYS you got somewhere! I especially loved: "I stooped and flicked an ant from my shoe." It's so clean, that sentence; clear and simple. Love it! Stooping is such a good word, frankly. And I really liked that you just HAD to follow the suspicious object, which shows me you're very much involved in your walk, not just observing. Steinbeck did that too: we were in Jody's head and heart; not just seeing through his eyes! Nicely done! Carolyn
ReplyDeleteJacob! Nice post!!!!!! I love the last 2 paragraphs the most because I can totally picture the scene. You did a really good job describing your walk down the street. LZ
ReplyDeleteJacob, like I said before, I liked your whole blog. I especially liked "I entered the realm of a shadow and shivered"
ReplyDeleteCody : )